The world from your eyes..

I feel a little tingle on my feet,
and I look under the table
to find you lost in your little world
Did I disturb you?

You look up and give me a coy smile...

How do you spot these little things that my eyes fail to see,
A strand of black thread
Lying on the carpet
And you jump at it with excitement
like its a shiny toy...

You grab everything you can lay your hands on
and put it in your mouth..
Your feet , my hands - who cares!!
You act like everything is dipped in honey.

You cry when the nurse gives you a shot
And then smile the next minute when she talks to you..

Now, if I could see the world from your eyes - little one.
Wouldn't every day be treat to live.

work?

I am looking for a job though half-heartedly. I had planned to get back in the saddle once sona was 6 mths. And this was the conversation I had with my husband.

I am not sure how would things be, I mean I am not sure if I "really" want it/ Yes a year back i would do anything for it...Yeah "anything". But today- I am not so sure

Hubby: "hmmm, why??"

Me: "I want to be with Sona"

hubby: "Is that the only reason?"

Damn !!! Are u reading me like a book.

Me:"Thats one of the reasons"

Me: " Its been quite a while too, and I feel like i have lost the edge "

To myself: I am nervous..thinking about Solilos blog: What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail
And this post by A Muser again gets me thinking. Yes i can so relate to every word.
And yet that was what i had wanted for so long and I am not so sure now.

Yet, I  shall figure out what I want in a while.

The Kite Runner

I was flipping channels and saw this airing..
The book had been on my 'to read' list for way too long, so decided to watch the movie before reading..
I was glued to the seat, though I am not sure how much justice was done to the book by the movie..

It is about a friendship between two kids transformed to akwardness due to guilt.. and how desperate one of them gets to part ways..
And then it is about loyalty- a loyalty the does not question the facts at all, a loyalty that lasts a lifetime.
And how life brings things that one wishes to bury, back in the forefront staring in your face.
You run away from things once but can you run again?

all this is told in the backdrop of political unrest..how people stoop to levels unimaginable in such times, when preachers are the ones who commit the most gruesome sins..
and you ask can there be a happy ending? is there hope?
Grab a copy or watch the movie...

Weekend Jitters??

we have been planning a weekend getaway...
everything is finalized now.. and here I get anxious about traveling with the little one...

And no I dont think i am over-stressed...
well for this 'small' weekend getaway- we have

• a 2 hrs drive to the city airport ( well ...I stay in a small town)
• a 1 hr connecting flight
• a 3 hr wait for final flight
  
• 2 & 1/2 hr flight to the destination city

EIGHT & HALF hours!!!! phew...i just realised that its this long while writing the post & breaking down the time :(((.... I hadn't factored in the waiting time earlier & i still have not added the usual check in time omg..

& a Rerun on monday

I dont know how will I manage it...
It will be a prelude to the India trip in waiting..
and I ask myself, is it worth it? . Hope it is...

What do I tell you...

What do I tell you...
What do I tell you...

When I see where I stand
in your eyes..
it hurts me so...

But what do I tell you...
What do I tell you...

You are too busy to even notice
Me staring at you..
Wondering
What has changed..

Where is that yesterday's
yearning in your eyes...

How did it get replaced with a blankness
that I just fail to understand

What do I tell you...
What do I tell you...

When I know that
My words matter no more
than a buzzing sound...

Oh that time!, when you waited with bated breath
to hear my voice, if for a few minutes
to see me, if for a glance

Where has that time flown away
and when did you become a stranger again...

and now here I am
and I search for words...
and fail to get them..

what do I tell you !

daggers..

Sometimes they are like daggers
Piercing you through and through
Sometimes they are a lullaby
Soothing you too

They can lift your spirits
Or they can dump you down
in the pits

There are some
That you wish linger for the rest of your life
and then there are those
that you wish you had
the power to forget
And yet...

Why dont people care enough
To choose the right words

And they claim to have spoken the truth
But I sigh
Of what value is that truth
when you do not know how it be told?

There are some who
trade truth for someones tears
And then there are those who
dont mind trading lies
for someones smiles

(PS: Indyeah: I remember your post on words.. I guess your words lingered with me too..
hmm ur words left a trail of thoughts)

Changes that Motherhood brings

Smitha tagged me to list 5 things I love about being a Mother...

Mummy - hmmm, a word that gave a cozy feeling whenever I got in a mess as a kid.. And I still feel the same.
A hug from her and all would be okay. She would shout and scold and the next minute pamper :)
....
And I am in her shoes now. And Man, it sure is tough walking in her shoes...Oops- Woman, it is tough walking in your shoes.
There are times when I wonder if I will be anywhere close. and then sometimes when I know for certain that I will be pretty close, and then again there are those when I think no one can ever be as good.

Life has changed ...The way we live life has changed.
We were like nomads - living off the suitcase, cant do that now-rather dont want to do that now.
I remember this couple we met through a common friend and we were going for a picnic at the beach and asked them to join us. Their baby was a couple of months then, and the mom was soooo reluctant at the spur of the moment plan (the dad didnt mind, but the Mom was firm...)
And I thought they just had to pack a diaper bag and the beach was just an hour away after all, what is all the fuss about?..Well, I know now ..
Eeverything changes !!... haha I know avoiding beaches is not something that you would want to do, but the point is - priorities change.

Thats Motherhood...
hmmm...

It makes me realise not to take my mom for granted, though I still do it often.
And I have begun to miss ma terribly, now that she has gone back after a two month stay...
(smitha: that is the first thing that comes to my mind too- never to take parents for granted)

Makes me extremely patient (at times) and protective..

Grounds me...makes me emotional...

Makes me forget everything else when I see my sunny boy smile - a half - smile ;) And i smile back.

Makes me forget that I am a mom when he is asleep, but when I hear him cry, he is the world and everything else is just a background.

(didnt think i could pinpoint 5, but here they are.)